Christmas 2000: the Christmas we will never forget and the Christmas that it hurts to remember. We had two babies then, Russell was three and Ivy was eleven months old. We had made plans to go to Barry’s parents’ place in Alabama for Christmas and it was going to be so fun. There is nothing like having kids to take Christmas to the next level and we were all about it.
I had decided not to get a tree or decorate our house since were weren’t going to be there for the main event anyhow. This is a mistake I will never make again.
The night before we left, we were having a little mini-Christmas with our besties, Kim & Jon. The kids were opening up a couple of presents from them and we were all drinking eggnog and watching the kids play (better than tv.) The car was packed and we were planning to hit the road early the next morning. It was about 8pm when Barry looked at me from across the room and said that he didn’t feel “right”. We hugged our friends goodbye and got tucked into bed thinking maybe he just needed some sleep.
What Barry ended up needing was more than a little sleep. What he ended up needing was all of the angelic hosts to raise him from the worst flu possible. By the time I woke up the next morning, he had the full body aches so bad that I couldn’t even touch him. He was fevering and working up a real nasty sounding cough. Barry loves to visit his parents so when he announced that there was no way we could go, I knew this was serious. I called my in-laws and sadly told them the situation.
I knew this was not your average cold that Barry was sprouting, so I got him a Dr.’s appointment asap. By the time we drove to the Dr., his head hurt so badly that he could not stand any amount of light. He had a towel over his head the whole way there. The Dr. confirmed that this was the nastiest of flus and gave us some anti-flu meds and a pitiful farewell. We drove through at McDonald’s afterwards and I forgot that Barry still had a towel over his head. The drive-thru gal naturally assumed that I had kidnapped a grown-ass man and eyed me with great suspicion. We got Barry home and tucked into bed, ready to celebrate the worst Christmas ever.
That’s when I realized that there was no Christmas in my house. No tree. No man to go get a tree. No stockings. No stocking stuffers. A couple of presents for the kids but that was it. Understand, my mother is the Queen of Christmas as was her mother before her. At Christmastime in my mom’s house, there is not flat surface that does not house a snowman, a nutcracker or a Christmas tree of varying sizes. Here I was, the Princess of Christmas, on Christmas Eve, without any sign of Christmas in my house. What a horrid oversight and assumption on my part to not have prepared for all eventualities. I should have battened down the hatches and had a tree at my house too. I was a Christmas Princess failure. I was a disgrace to my Christmas Princess lineage. It was at this precise moment that I also felt a strange ache in my spine and heard a baby cough in the next room.
What followed is still like a blur in my mind. Both of the babies and I quickly succumbed to the worst flu ever and Christmas was derailed to another degree. More Dr. visits, more meds, nights up with fevering, coughing babies. Being dreadfully sick while tending the dreadfully sick. It was truly a nightmare. Barry doesn’t do anything halfway, including sickness. While the flu was dreadful for the kids and I, it was devastating for Barry. Three days in, his head was still about to explode. He couldn’t handle any noise or light and he was wracked with a wicked cough. Kim & Jon dropped some groceries off at our door and ran for their lives.
Somewhere in the Christmasless misery, a package arrived at the door from my Aunty Judy. She had sent Christmas treats and movies and when I opened them, I teared up at how she had saved the day with her thoughtfulness. It was Christmas in a box! We were going to have some Christmas after all! I was so excited and got the kids settled on the couch with their treats so we could watch A Charlie Brown Christmas. I felt some tiny joy that there would still be some Christmas in my house, thanks to my sweet Aunty Judy.
We had just started Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer when I heard Barry groaning from the bedroom. I went to check on him and came upon him muttering in agony….”that ssssounnnd….whaaaat issss thaaaat souuuuunnnnnndddd…???” “What sound?” I asked. “Thaaaaat biiiiiiiiinnnng souuuunnnnd….thaat biiiiiiing” and then he pointed at the living room. “There iiiiit isss agaaaaaain…” I ran out to the living room to see if I could identify the “bing” sound. Rudolph was on the screen with his red nose lighting up and sure enough, it was “binging”. I am not sure how this sound was making it’s way to Barry with such a force but somehow the frequency of that bing was punching Barry right in his flu ears and he could NOT tolerate it. No matter how low we turned the volume he could still hear it. We eventually had to turn off the movie because it was bothering Barry so much. So once again, the flu stole my Christmas from me. No Rudolph. No Christmas.
After about a week of agony, we all started to emerge from this Christmas plague. All four of us had secondary viral lung and ear infections and still walked around like zombies, but we could at least walk around. I figured that since we were on the mend, we could pull out that Rudolph movie and give it another go. Not a chance. The first “bing” resounded through the house and punched Barry in his over-sensitive, secondary infection ears and he banned that movie for all eternity. I still don’t know how it ends.
I have never made the mistake of not decorating for Christmas again. I learned from this experience that a Christmas Princess must be prepared for all eventualities and always, always, always decorate. However, I have had to alter some of my decorating schemes so as not to include Rudolph in any way. I kid you not, Barry cannot see a picture of that guy without shuddering. This is why there is no Rudolph in my Christmas.
For all of you who have never had the pleasure of hearing the bing, here is the movie! I am about to watch it…with headphones.:)
